Its time to retire the Hammer pants…

Good afternoon my dears. Care for a spot of tea? Croquet on the lawn? Cucumber sandwich? Bah, humbug. In case you hadn’t noticed, two rich people got married yesterday, combining to produce one super-rich megazoid. Everything is so bloody British at the moment I feel like I’m trapped in 1952.  Very conservative dress, Miss Kate, although you do look as pretty as a picture. I particularly like your husband’s shiny bald spot, nicely highlighted by all the flash photography.

Kate Middleton - pretty as a picture. Maybe not this picture.

Anyway, enough about the wedding.  Must stop calculating the cost of the wedding in number of Bellas.

So many things have happened over the past few weeks.  First and foremost – Aziza.  Oh, Aziza.  Several weeks ago I took a workshop with her on hands, arms and poses and it was amazing.  Ridiculously difficult, but amazing.  From chatting to some of the other workshop attendees (and watching them dance) I came to the conclusion that I was the least experienced dancer there.  But hey, I kept up, just about!    Aziza herself is a small, energetic bundle of cuteness – really, she was much shorter and more muscular than I had imagined her to be.  At one point she flexed her muscles to demonstrate how strong you need to be to be to have graceful arms and…seriously.  I’m surprised she didn’t illustrate her point by juggling attendees whilst demonstrating the correct positioning of the hands.  I’m fairly sure she could have.

The main focus of the workshop seemed to be how to slow down and strengthen the arms, even when executing staccato hip movements.  We did a few warm-ups to this end, one of which consisted of about eight minutes of hand undulations.  Above your head!  Now behind your back!  To the left!  In someone else’s face! (That one may have been a mistake, sorry nice lady to my left).  We then learned a short choreography which was, I believe, a taxim.  I am as yet uneducated in the correct names for rhythms, types of music and styles of dancing, but I believe Aziza said that taxims are usually improvised.  As a compromise, this routine incorporated both choreography and improvisation TO MY HORROR.  You know, been dancing a year and half, done a few community events, couple of haflas, and oh, Aziza is watching me improvise a taxim?  This is happening now?  And its being filmed?  Well huzzah, this is bound to go well, and not at all be the kind of hideous memory that keeps me awake at night.

In hindsight, that Turkish Drop was bad idea.

Learning with Aziza is like learning a different form of dance entirely, almost like a ballet to middle eastern music.  She is inspiring.  Maybe I didn’t learn the choreography too well, but really the choreography was not the point.  The essence of the workshop will stay with me for a long time and, I hope, will make me a better dancer.

Ok!  Other things!

Our spring hafla was a few weeks ago and was a big success.  Huzzah!  The venue was beautiful and the dancing all went very well, although there were a few mishaps.  The remote-contolled stage curtains were hilarious as only one worked, leaving half the dancers stranded on stage at the end of each dance.  Didn’t realise how funny this looked until I saw the dvd of the show.  Oh, and the best part of then night was when I won a knitted camel in the raffle.  Oh hell yes.  After paying for the venue and all the other little expenses that came with it, we managed to raise over £200 to put towards the Scheherazade show we want to stage near Christmas, so we’re all very pleased.

Hmmmm.  Now.  Time to constructively critiscise myself.  So, I watched the dvd of the hafla and saw the photos and have drawn some conclusions.  They are as follows.

1. I do not complete moves.  I seem to execute each move fairly well, but then ‘throw it away’ at the last minute.  Therefore, my transitions are jagged.  Definitely need to work on this.

2. I rush!  This one really shocked me, to the point where I wondered if the dvd was running too fast.  But no, its me.  I was very surprised because I honestly didn’t feel like I was rushing.  But there you go, I am.  Primarily its my arms that need to slow down – my Snake Arms are particularly awful.

3. I NEED TO RETIRE THE ENDLESS WAVE HAREM PANTS.  Its funny, I get complimented on them all the time in class, but from the photos I have decided that they really do me no favours.  The make my legs look short and dumpy, and my hips look even bigger than they already are.  They do move nicely, but really they’re not for me.  Instead, I will invest in a nice, slim-fitting skirt.

4. I need a costume and ‘image’ overhaul.  Ok, so I can’t do anything about the shortness of my neck and the massiveness of my head, but I can maybe costume myself more flatteringly.  For example, I need to stop wearing purple.  I have one bright purple skirt and veil which are ok, but dark purple and damson are out.  I should have guessed really that someone with yellow-toned skin should not wear purple.  My mum has been telling me that for years.  Also, the high ponytail, whilst convenient and easy may have to be phased out slowly (except for times when I can’t be bothered).  To this end I am considering investing in either a good wig or a full head of hair extensions.  At least longer hair might go some way in disguising my enormous head.

Wow, this was a long post.  If anyone knows of any amazing wigs that wont fall off I would be delighted to hear from you.  Right, I need breakfast.  Bye!